


Make me feel something

by succ_ka_bvi



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: But not really a relationship, Crying, First Kiss, Kissing, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Sad, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 17:24:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15199763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/succ_ka_bvi/pseuds/succ_ka_bvi
Summary: It was dangerous, the situation they were in.





	Make me feel something

**Author's Note:**

> warning - no clear consent given at one point

Jungwoo loved Taeil, and he knew it was bad. Whenever he would interact with the older, Jungwoo would have to remind himself every time that he can't look at him in a certain way, or speak to him differently than to the others because it would become obvious.

Jungwoo blamed himself, but it all started with Taeil. 

 

_“Is this okay?” Jungwoo asked Taeil, who had brought him into his bedroom and sat him down on the bed._

_“No one will know. I've got this.”_

 

When they first kissed, Jungwoo melted into Taeil's touch when his hands brushed his nape and cupped his cheek softly. They both didn't know what they were doing, but the younger knew he was falling deeply when this became a routine. 

Taeil's kisses were sweet at first, experimental and comforting. But somehow, over the month they became more rushed, tongue and teeth involved, and Jungwoo didn't know how to kiss like this, becoming confused and pushing the older away when he would reach for the hem of his shirt. 

 

_“W-What are you doing?” Jungwoo said as he scrambled away from the older, slight waver in his voice._

_Taeil looked at him with confusion and slight frustration. “I thought you wanted this.”_

_But once Jungwoo fell in a silence, pleading with his eyes for Taeil not to be mad, the older glared._

 

The younger couldn't believe that Taeil got  _angry_ with him. Jungwoo thought that he should respect his boundaries, even if he wasn't clear on what he wanted exactly. But the same thing would happen every time now, no more soft, light kisses. So Jungwoo started to think that he was in the wrong here. 

And that's when Jungwoo let Taeil do what he wanted for the first time. 

 

_They were hidden in the bathroom, door locked with Taeil leaning against it to make sure he could hear when a member would walk past._

_“Suck.”_

_The younger didn't know what he was doing, or if he was doing it right at least. Taeil was silent throughout which didn't help that much either, only reaching down to hold the back of his head at one point._

_Taeil didn't even warn Jungwoo to tell him that he was close, spilling into his mouth causing Jungwoo to pull off quickly and sputter._

 

Sometimes Taeil would do things to Jungwoo that felt good; kisses down his neck, hands allover his body, mouth on places. Taeil was his first for everything. 

But things came to a stop. 

Taeil told one of the members, and he still wouldn't tell Jungwoo who, but it spread throughout the dorms until their manager found out. 

It was dangerous, the situation they were in, but the manager didn't take any further action, only giving the whole group a harsh telling that scarred Jungwoo. In that moment, he felt as if there was a spotlight on him, and he didn't enjoy being in the centre of attention at all. 

Then the manager asked to speak to Taeil and Jungwoo privately, the others leaving and some giving light pats on the back. 

What Jungwoo didn't expect however, was Taeil taking full responsibility, blaming himself for the mess they both got themselves into. 

The younger could barely speak, not knowing what jumbled mess came out of his mouth when the managers eyes were on him, but it must've been alright, because they were dismissed shortly after.

 

Jungwoo had a lot of questions that he wanted to ask Taeil, but every time he would reach the door to his bedroom, memories of them flashed through his mind, causing Jungwoo to tear up, backing out and quietly rushing to his own room. 

Whenever nothing was on his mind, Jungwoo would go back to thinking about Taeil. The older made him want to cry. 

There was one time that Taeil brought Jungwoo into his room, but Jungwoo didn't know that it'd be the last time. 

 

_“Why did you take the blame, hyung-”_

_“We can't do this anymore.” Taeil changed the conversation, standing with his arms folded._

_The sternness of his voice made Jungwoo realise. Taeil didn't love him like he loved Taeil. He must've told someone on purpose, with hope to put this to a stop._

_“B-But hyung-”_

_“I would like you to leave.” Jungwoo didn't want to see Taeil angry again, leaving and heading straight to the bathroom where he locked himself inside._

 

Jungwoo was a mess, crying silently with his head in his hands. Taeil was only experimenting, messing with him, he knew the whole time what would happen in the end, while Jungwoo was clueless, falling deeply for the older. 

Ever since then, everyone, including Taeil, would act as if it never happened, it was a rule they had to stick to unfortunately. 

Jungwoo loved Taeil, and he knew it was bad. 

Jungwoo blamed himself, but Taeil was at fault. 

**Author's Note:**

> sad innit
> 
> not proof read either


End file.
